I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
