Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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