he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
