I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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