Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize