She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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