I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
