I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
