I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
