You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
