I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
