Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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