I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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