You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize