I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize