he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
