What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
