She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
