:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
