Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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