OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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