I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
