similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
