How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.