i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.