Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?