Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
