does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
