you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
