He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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