He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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