I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize