We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
