just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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