Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
