Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he puts the penis in happiness.
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Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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