So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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