Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
