so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
