Banned from zoo.
Again?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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