Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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