just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
