She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago