is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.