i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
