he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
