how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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