Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
