i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
