He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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