This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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