I need help removing her.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
