It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
