if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
