used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
