the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He has the fingertips of a God
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
