summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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