my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
