a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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